28 Days of Romance Challenge – Week 1

Remember when you were childless?  Ok, that didn’t come out right. Let me start over; I love my son and motherhood is, without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me.  I didn’t know what life was until my son entered this world and I mean that with every ounce of earnestness. What I meant to say was, remember when you were childless in the context of your relationship with your significant other.  In particular, think about how often you went on dates, did something romantic or had a deep conversation with them?  

Now, if you can sincerely tell me that those types of activities occur just as frequently NOW as they did pre-kids, PLEASE PLEASE contact me and tell me your secret.  Heck, you’re doing something VERY unique. Capitalize on it! Write a book! Make a vlog! Teach me! The truth is, having children can be super tough on a relationship especially in this day and age.  We (men and women) are working harder than ever. In 1960 20% of mothers worked. Now, about 70% of families have dual working parents. Further, and true for both men and women, most of us work more than 40 hours per week (1).  Additionally, we are parenting harder than ever.  This article from the NYT’s says it all in the title alone:  The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting.

In other words, we have a TON of pull on our attention and it’s so easy to overlook how necessary it is to prioritize our relationship with our significant other.  

After time, this leads to feeling disconnected from the most important person in your life, to the person you chose to partner with for life. Further, there will come a time when your children are adults and you find yourself alone in a big house with that person you chose all those years ago.  Hopefully, this person is not a stranger.

As a result, I  have created a super fun 28 day romance challenge.  

The challenge will formally start on February 1 (but feel free to start it anytime).  Each day, you and your partner will be challenged with a quick task that is designed to help you reconnect and eventually re-prioritize your relationship altogether.  

I hope you enjoy this challenge!  ThriveDaddy and I will be participating right alongside you (Full Disclosure:  We are due to have a baby this month so we’re going to participate alongside you as much as humanly possible)!

Connect with me on Instagram and post with the hashtag #ThriveRomance to tell me how it’s going!

Week 1

February 1:  First, print a picture of the two of you pre-children that you love and that brings you immediate joy when you see it.  Next, tape this picture somewhere where it will be visible first thing in the morning.  My recommendation is a bathroom mirror.  The hope is that, for the rest of the challenge, this will serve as a daily reminder of the person you chose to partner with.  Don’t have access to a printer? Change your phone background to the picture you had in mind. It will serve the same purpose.

February 2:  Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday this year (not great for working parents).  Discuss your plans together. If you want to celebrate on February 14, make arrangements for a babysitter and make reservations (like yesterday).  If you aren’t going to celebrate on February 14 (or at all), at least you are both on the same page and have now avoided any disappointment or hurt feelings.

February 3:  Stepping off the PG train right now.  Schedule some intimate time together (Don’t worry, I’m blushing too).  I know — scheduling sex is inherently NOT sexy but physical intimacy in a relationship is really easy to overlook and SUPER important to the overall health of a relationship.  Your goal is to schedule one sexy time a week for the remainder of the challenge. If this is too easy, pick a number and stretch to that.  Hopefully some of these challenges will lead to some sexy time naturally!  This is a safety net just in case!

February 4:  Your task on February 23rd is to go on a proper date night.  This date is totally flexible but it’s the last Saturday in our challenge.  Get your ducks in a row today! One of you line up a sitter. One of you make dinner reservations, book movie tickets, figure out plans!  Make this date day/night whatever you want it to be! The only requirement is that you spend at least 2 kid free hours together! Talk about what you’d like to do and get excited!

February 5:  Sit and talk to your partner.  Use these prompts or come up with your own!

  1. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
  2. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  3. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items

February 6:  Send a sexy text message to your spouse in the middle of the day today.  (OMG blushing again). It can be as racy and descriptive as you’re comfortable with!

February 7:  Write your spouse a love letter (handwrite it!).  It’s OK if you aren’t Shakespeare. Just write from the heart.  Writer’s block? This link includes 42 Love Letter Prompts you can use.  You’re going to deliver this letter to your spouse on Valentine’s Day so you have a week to perfect it!

Enjoy connecting with your partner this week!  See below for links to weeks 2-4.

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

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  1. Danielle January 21, 2019 at 7:23 am

    Thank you so much for sharing! We’re going to try it out!!! 🙂

    1. Rachael Marini January 21, 2019 at 7:27 am

      We are too!! Hopefully we will get through some activities before I pop!

  2. Gwendolyn January 21, 2019 at 10:41 am

    This is a great idea! I’m looking forward to trying some of the activities. Good luck to you in your final weeks of pregnancy with baby #2!! That’s so exciting!

    1. Rachael Marini January 21, 2019 at 7:26 pm

      Same! Even if you don’t do the whole challenge this is a nice one no matter what!

  3. Brooke | Mother Me Crazy January 22, 2019 at 11:42 am

    Do you think I could do this without him knowing? If I ask and show him, he is definitely going to say no and that we shouldn’t need to schedule our relationship (he hates schedules) but looking at week 1, I feel like I could implement all of these things without him knowing about the challenge. I think the result would be the same. What do you think?

    1. Rachael Marini January 22, 2019 at 12:18 pm

      For sure!! I just looked at it again and you can totally get away with that and have the same impact!! Maybe even a better one! Will be curious to know how it goes!

  4. Lisa January 22, 2019 at 11:53 am

    This is such an awesome idea! Sometimes we get so caught up in making it more complicated than it needs to be!

  5. Hannah January 24, 2019 at 3:12 am

    I love a good challenge 😊 These are some great ideas! 💕 We probably will do our date night another night since the 14th is on a Thursday!

  6. Lauren | My Favorite Job Title Is Mom January 27, 2019 at 11:31 am

    This is such an awesome idea! I shared with my husband and he was surprisingly easy to get on board. We will be starting this on February 1st. He’s even already started by surprising me with a little love not in my suitcase.

  7. Carly | The Mamma's List January 27, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    So many good ideas. And it’s so true how your relationship changes after you have kids. You really need to work on it, so these are fantastic ways to get back on track!


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