Fact or Fiction: I just went through childbirth, I can do anything!
Back at home after my oldest, Aubrey, was born girlfriends would ask, “how was the labor, did it hurt?” And I would reply rather matter of fact: “I discovered a whole new pain scale that I didn’t even know existed.”
No matter the duration of time, the amount of pain, or the mental anguish you endured during child birth you can officially say with pride “I DID IT!” You SHOULD be proud because childbirth changes you physically, emotionally and mentally. You went through some serious stuff and it was a royal pain (in so many ways). So of course you would feel like you can do anything!
I use this pride in my accomplishments to pump myself up for things that seem too hard like when I’ve got to hold a yoga pose extra long. I say “c’mon, I gave birth, I can do THIS.” Or at a water park standing at the top of black spiral tube of doom waiting to take the plunge I say to myself “don’t be a wimp, you gave birth 2 times, of course you can do this.”
But convincing ourselves that we can do anything because we did something as amazing as childbirth, can be more slippery of a slope than the heinous, Verruckt waterslide. Can you tell water parks wig me out ?!
We tell our selves some pretty impressive things to get over fear or to get motivated. But be careful not to place unrealistic expectations on yourself now that you are a mom. You are still a vulnerable human being who has needs and desires. Don’t tell your kid this, but you are still figuring this all out…and that’s super stressful.
It would be great if becoming a mom meant some switch was flipped where you suddenly had all the answers, gained more emotional toughness and finally felt comfortable in your own skin.
There is no switch. It’s just you as you + a pooping, screaming and feeding bundle of joy.
When I was on the verge of going back to work I remember saying to myself “why are you crying so much, women do this every day.” But what I didn’t realize then is that plenty of women go back to work every day but they ALL feel the same way I did. I assume that I was the worst-case and to suck it up.
So my whole “I can do anything because I gave birth” bit didn’t work. And I was left with my emotional self and I. Sister, if you start to feel this way here are some ways to deal:
- Gather your tribe. You need these pro-mom friends and these women to call, cry and laugh with.
- Let it flow. Sometimes you just gotta let it out when you start to hold it back like you are “not supposed” to cry is when you are not tuned in to your needs at that moment.
- Get the right info. Are you worried because you don’t know the answer to a question you think every mom knows? I’ve helped moms make the transition to working mommahood and I’d be honored to help you. Email firstname.lastname@example.org and ask away!
- Real women ask. You know the term “real men wear pink”? Well real women ask. Ask for help, ask for a shoulder to cry on, ask for the time away from your screaming baby. Your friends, your man, your mother-in-law want to help. Give them the privilege of helping you!
Speaking of asking…did you know that when you sign up for workshops, enjoy my book or work one-on-one with me you get access to my secret Facebook group? (it’s secret so that you can ask/chat about your real issues without it showing up on everyone’s feeds.) It’s a Thrive Tribe of moms at the same spot in life who are lovely and supportive…it’s a must-have for new mommas!