9 months pregnant I heard a friend say “parenting: the best thing you will ever do and the hardest thing you ever do.” And especially for a busy working mom we have an extra layer of added pressure, demands on our time and fatigued minds due working for 8+ hours a day.
We can’t afford to waste time gossiping, worrying or spreading ourselves thinner than and we should. As I have been exploring the topic of mom-energy in my own life and meeting and BBFing mom energy expert and working mom expert on the topic (more on that later) I’ve come to realize that
Protecting my mama-energy is my # 1 job
Does this come naturally to me? No. I love to help people (viola, ThriveMomma was born), I love to share my talents, and to be a mama and spread the love. But my PB&J has been scheemered too thin, too many times. Illness, tiredness, resentfulness, dullness, agitation, dissatisfaction. Any of these sound familiar? I’ve experience them all. And they all stem from me not PROTECTING my time, my energy, and being out of alignment with my higher good.
I’ve got a few tips on how to deal with a few of the trickiest spots mamas get into: overwhelm, frustration and feeling stuck:
Overwhelm is all about too many thoughts clouding your progress forward.
Mom-stress, mommy-angst, mama-frustration…stem from a place within. Your toddler with a tude is the CAUSE and your rage is the result. But often your involuntary negative reaction to the 3′ tall catalyst boils down to what you are THINKING, FEELING, and DOING and if out of alignment.
Your thought is “I just want a peaceful evening, and he is talking back again!” You are feeling like a failure, sad, exhausted, confused, etc. You don’t use the gentle patenting technique that you read about online.
Wanting one thing, feeling and doing another leads to so much internal strife! And adds to the already tense situation. So, ask yourself, are my thoughts, feelings and actions in alignment? Is that direction positive?
So next time you find yourself overwhelmed ask yourself if your thoughts, feelings and actions are speaking the same language.
One of the first skills I work on with my clients who return to work is: Learning to say no, delegating and outsourcing. Saying no to things is not weakness, it’s power! At the begining of each week, write down, what should I stop doing, what should I start doing and what do I need help with. The question about stopping is particularly helpful. Women are notoriously bad at saying no. Practicing it every week will make you stronger when it comes to big things.
Indecision is actually a decision. Damn it! But procrastinating or getting too caught up in a decision process you have actually consciously or not decided to remain stuck. So a series of questions to ask yourself in the moment are: What do I have to do? What do I want to do? What was I born to do? The first two questions help you decide whether you are obligated to do it, like grocery shopping, diaper changes and coffee IV drip. The final question is about sometimes you are compelled to do something. You were born to be an incredible mom. You were born to share your gifts with the world. Keep these questions handy when you are feeling pulled in multiple directions and follow your heart!!!
As busy working mothers we have mastered the art of multi-tasking. Whether it be face-timing a client while breastfeeding while sitting on the toilet (true story) we are able to accomplish so much in a day. Most Saturday mornings I’ve got each out worked out of where we need to be, what to eat, and how much free time I get all before 6:50am.